And so the curtain closes

2010 has been a great year, it's had it's ups and downs. I chose to
focus on the ups and learn from the downs never losing sight of the
fact that all the ups and downs work together for my good because I
have a God that loves me too much to just sit by and let my life go
wrong.

So as the year 2010 gradually ticks to an end, I wish you all enough
of everything, so that you would never lose sight of what is truly
important.

Thanks all for being there.

See y'all in the new year 2011

Happy New Year!

Thankful for 2010

The year 2010 is drawing quickly to a close, I look back to the beginning of the year and it seems like that was just yesterday. The person I am today is way different from the person I was when the year started. I had plans for the year, dreams, hopes and aspirations.

 

A number of these plans have been surpassed; in fact I am so very thankful for whom I am today. In the next few days as this year winds to an end, I would not seat around doing a check list of oh what did I not do this year, rather I would spend it being thankful for the fact that I am alive and the all so many great things I have been blessed with this year, thankful that all my loved ones are alive and well and that despite the fact that we had a few deaths in the family; we have been blessed also with new arrivals. In all it’s been a great year.

When I calculate my net worth at the end of it all, I see a surplus. I know 2011 can only be a step up of 2010.

Merry Christmas!!!

Oops

It’s like the cast changed the script mid way

The spot light goes off just when the plot thickens and we all gasp, wondering "what is happening?"

Should we remain on the stage or walk away?

Is the light still going to come back on?

Should we create some diversion to make this "disaster" seem like part of the plan?

Or is this some twist to add some suspense to the show?

Who knows?

Not me

I’m wondering too

Waiting

Panicking

Then calm again

But only because I see the director is on stage, I can make out his frame in the shadows

Why isn’t he saying anything? I wonder

Slowly I find peace, because if he is not worried, then I’ve got no reason to be worried,

After all it’s his show.

A real special day :)

Today is a very special day for me in many ways, but as I thought of
what to write, nothing seemed enough to express the words in my heart
till I stumbled on this version of 1 Corintians 13 in a book I am
reading and it is not just the Bible passage to read but a prayer I
long to say daily. I don't care that I am not yet married, but the
picture of this woman is who I want to be.

I hope it blesses you as you read along:)

1 Corintians 13 as written by Sharon Jaynes

If I teach Bible study classes, volunteer for women's ministry, and
sing in the choir, but do not love my husband, I am only a resounding
gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have a college degree, high paying
job, successful career, but do not love my husband, I am emotionally
and spiritually bankrupt. If I have faith that can move mountains, am
quick to pray for those in need, and even have half the Bible
memorized, but do not love my husband, I am disobedient and do not
please God. If I keep a spotless house, maintain a well-manicured
lawn, and prepare nutritionally balanced meals, but do not love my
husband, it is all for naught. Hired hands can do as much.

Lord help me to be patient. Help me to be kind. I pray that I will not
envy others who have seemingly happier marriages and husbands who are
more helpful around the house or thoughtful or romantic. I pray that I
will never lift myself up by putting my husband down. Lord, I pray
that I will not be a proud woman who refuses to listen to her husband,
who always has to have the last word, who always thinks her way is
best. I pray that I will not be rude to my husband with curt comments,
disregard his needs, or be ungrateful for all he does and is, but
treat him with respect and honor that the king of a castle deserves.

I pray that I will not be self-serving, always thinking about what is
best for me, but thinking of what would be best for my husband. I pray
that I will not be angered easily, not hold a grudge, not keep a
record of wrongs, not plan ways to retaliate, and not use my tongue as
a weapon to cause pain. I pray that I will not rejoice and say "I told
you so" when things don't work out the way my husband hoped.

Lord above all, I pray that my husband will see me as his chief
cheerleader who desires to rejoice with him in his victories, both big
and small. That he will see me as one who longs to protect our
marriage and our love. Help me to create a warm and loving environment
in which he feels safe, wanted and revered. I pray that You will give
me endurance when things get tough. Help the word "divorce" to never
enter my mind or cross my lips as an option. Lord, I know that love
never fails and that You never fail. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit to
give me the endurance to stand up under trials and love my husband as
You would have me love him- till death do us part.

In Jesus name, amen

Wow, isn't that just a power packed prayer and a true to life way or
reading the "Love chapter" as 1 Corintians 13 is sometimes called.
While reading this prayer earlier today, I remembered when I first got
fascinated with this chapter of the Bible. A certain someone ;) told
me that he could not just use the word love because he was not sure he
could embody what 1 Corintians 13 said it entailed. That statement
made me pause and I said to myself, for someone to be particular about
being able to live out the total details of that chapter, he must
really be on to something and is indeed a rear gem to treasure.

But now I see it much clearer and I can confess to you all (with my
face covered ashamed of the way I've been carrying on), I've not been
the lady described above, I've been the opposite of practically
everything.
I do pray for forgiveness.

I'm starting over. I need to be that woman. She really is gorgeous,
and I want to be that and whatever else God makes of me.

So ladies, who's walking this road with me?

Deciding on a decision

Have you ever made a decision that is so hard to live with?
In the moment you decided it felt like the right thing to do.
You worked yourself into a frenzy to convince yourself that you were right
But at the end you realized it was never what you wanted. Your premise
and conclusions were based on faulty assumptions.

How do you take it all back?
How do you make everything good again?

When saying sorry doesn't just cut it
Saying "I did not mean that" sounds shallow
When all you can do is pray and hope that you can turn back the hands
of time. Or that somehow a change comes.

I wish, I know
I wish I can
I wish it were just a bad dream, then I can simply wake up
Alas, it's real
Tell me I pray you, what can I do.

Romans 8:28

How we love

I listened to talk show that had the guest speakers was a couple that
had been married for 53 yrs and still walking in love. This is after a
suicide of their child and an accident that left the wife paralyzed
and in need of 24 hour care which the husband gave up his job to
provide.

This led me to the question - What is love?

It is not a mushy feeling that leaves u all high and puppy eyed

It is not a feeling you feel when you feel something you have never felt before

It is not just another fix where it feels like nothing could possibly go wrong

It is just not a feeling

Or something that just accidentally happens and overwhelm you

Infatuation / lust could give you all those

But love
Is a conscious action, love does not happen to you by accident, it
takes willingly getting to know a person and as you see things you
like you start to long for the person's company more and by so doing
you grow the "like-meter" to a point where the opinion of this other
person matters so much to you.

It is a will to good- you want the best for this person in all aspects
of life. You put the good of the person as a priority so you will do
whatever it takes to get out that best.

It is a decision you renew daily!

So how do you love?

Mum!

It's ma Mum's birthday today, I'm so excited. It's funny because we've
not really been so close, seeing as I've been a Daddy's girl for so
long.

In the last few years however, I started realizing what a treasure
I've got in her. She's so soft spoken but don't you ever take that to
mean you can just rough shod her or anything like that. She's got what
sometimes seem to be a steel nerve, that get's her through every
situation. She just stays clam regardless of the craziness or jamboree
going on around her, always looking out for the good of others,
giving, giving and giving so much of herself and amazingly expecting
nothing in return.

She's a principled woman and I've seen her live her talk. I remember
her telling me back when I was in junior high that "you should have
permanent friends only permanent interest" it was a cool quote as far
as I was concerned back then, but looking back now, I see how that
quote shaped me. Lots of decisions I made, stemmed from that quote.
I've seen her meet new people, I've seen the friends that remain and I
see Mum's quote resounding over and again. She cares about you
regardless of your ideas or values but not once does she neglect her
principles for a friend. Her interest stays true and same through the
various people.

She's an amazing woman. I often don't see what she is telling me when
she says it, but eventually often time I look back and I'm grateful to
her, she's made so many sacrifices to see that I am who I am today
through God.

No matter what happens, or the following days and years bring, I will
always love you and think twice about your ideas when I don't seem to
see from your point of view, because I know, you've got my back
regardless of what happens.

I guess all I'm trying to say is Mum I love you, Happy Birthday! You
are simply the best.

She is a daughter
She is a lady
She is a wife
She is disciplined
She is hard working
She is loving
She is devoted
She puts L on Loyal
She is humble
She is way smart
She has a heart of gold
She is a mother, twice over
She is my Mum

Living my dream

So it's been my favorite phrase "do what you love and you'll never
have to work a day in your life"
With this great idea planted in my head for many years I wonder how I
managed to fall into a routine I almost detest 90% of the time. My
life must be pretty miserable you must think by now.

Well you are sometimes right, I'm often miserable. I console myself in
the idea that one day I would break free but poor me has not had a
single day to catch my breath since I've been telling myself this.
So I'm attending this women program and I hear these amazing women
speak and I'm like WOW! What am I waiting for? These women are living
my dream and guess what? They did not have the bus wait to pick them,
they hopped on as it sped by them.

Will Darlyn wait much longer? What is she doing?
What will she do with all these ideas in her head?

My thought is this.

I am one person
I have one life
I can make a change, one person at a time
The first one to be changed is Me
I'm on rampage
Watch out for me :)

He's my friend!!!

So there's this song that's been on replay in my head for about 3 days
now. Today twas like my constant fuel through the day.

Friend of God by Israel Houghton
VERSE:
Who am I that you are mindful of me
That you hear me, when I call
Is it true that you are thinking of me
How you love me, it's amazing (Who am I Lord)

CHORUS:
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

The content of the song it not new, but it seems to resonate
differently in me, it's kind of almost an incredible idea that makes
my eyes wanna pop out of it's socket and at the same time very
humbling, that God would actually have time to think of me, and then
not just a one off thought, but like He knows my name, cares deeply
about me, He LOVES me, wow

I feel like telling everyone I am a friend of God. Fancy being Obama's
friend or Mel Gibson, Wentworth Miller, a Denzel Washington, Donald
Trump, Bill Gates, just name it all the Who's that really matter,
fancy being a friend to any of them. I'm sure I'll be excited to tell
any and everyone either subtly or not so subtly that I have a
connection with any of these cool dudes above.

Now fancy having someone cooler, greater, more awesome, way more
powerful, richer, more on point and with more charisma than them all
put together, being my friend. Well there's not much to be modest
about here. I'm shouting from the rooftops He calls me friend!

I'm so in love with my FL right now. May this love never fade! I know
His love NEVER fades, only mine does :(

But He never gives up on me, yippie!

Y'all have a lovely rest of the week

Saying or Said-ing?

What is God saying now?
It often is easy for us to hold on to what God told us at some point
of our life. But it is sad what happens after that, we stop trying to
hear God, because what he told us at that point is working so well
then we get lost in the idea that we feel we don't need to work to
keep hearing from Him, we get too busy maintaining what He gave us we
stop paying attention to Him. We are busy priming and fixing here and
there.

I guess it is wise to get back to the drawing board and ask what is He
saying to now?
Listen, obey and remain in Him always.
Don't just stay with the "said-ing"  listen for what He is "saying" now.
Have a blessed week y'all.

Looks like I'm really back

Hey,
Been a while since I posted. I've had loads of stuffs happening.
Looks like I've found a solution to not staying away from here too long.
We'll just have to wait and see how that works out right.
Have a fabulous Thursday y'all
I'll be back soon.

The Farmer

I pray for rain


I weep in pain

I moan and groan

But all in vain



For my yard is over grown

And the farm is all brown

Remnant of the last season

I’m yet to cut down



Easy to pray

Cheap to weep

But my part will I play?

For surely the rain will come

But what would it bless?

When all I do is weep and moan and groan

A Song

I need a song


A song to sing

I need a song

A song that cheers

I need a song

A song to put me at ease

I need a song

That tells all my heart cries



I love

I live

I wait

I weep

I hope, oh still I hope

That when my song comes

I’ll dance all the way

By myself

When it is left to just me and You


I am free to sing

I am free to dance

I am free to say the words "I love You"

Knowing You deserve it right well and I am so unworthy



When there is just me and You

I come true, shedding all the masks

Coming before the one that know all and loves me still

How else can I say it, I come before the one that loves me undeserving as I am



Then I look in the eyes of love,

I come to fully understand why He bore the pain and the shame He knew I would daily bring

He did it just in hope that I would let Him love me as I should be loved

A love only He understands and yes I love Him

Yes I love Jesus!

I love love :)

Grateful!!!

About 3 months or so back as I sat waiting to see my doctor in a rather posh waiting room, I flip through a professional magazine reviewing the exam I failed last year trying to determine what to do differently to ensure success in the next attempt.

Just then CNN came to me first with Larry King on the suicide of bullied teenage girl and I think to myself how pitiful it was that she had to take her own life which in my opinion leads to a worse end than the realities she had to live with.

It made me reflect to my teenage years and be thankful to God for the ability to be grounded in Him and stand my ground in whatever situation I found f myself. I had a philosophy which helped - 'nobody can intimidate me without my permission' but would I give the permission? No way!. I always reminded myself that even when you are not bold/ courageous, pretend you are no one can tell the difference anyway :).

I sure had my share of would-be bullies but I learnt to stand my ground and they would back down.

After the Larry King show, came the news and again I was reminded of loads of reasons to be thankful, Sudan was at war for like forever and for what you may ask? Religious reasons (Islam Vs Christian)  Just ridiculous , just the thought makes me shiver to think of the number of times my dearly beloved home country Nigeria had been toying on and off with such issues.

In all I look around and constantly see reasons to be grateful. It's not just when things are going the way I hope they would but even when they are not going in the direction I hope and  hey wait a minute, what exactly am I asking for?
All my wishes and heart desires granted?
No way!
That is a recipe for disaster, I don't know about you but for me I know how many times I look back and realise what I was asking for was just not good for me but in that time and situation I was so sure it was the best thing for me, it is only FL's mercy that has kept me from those things and instead of giving me those things I so fervently wanted and believed I should have, He instead said no or gave me what was appropriate a those times.

That's just a lil flash of gratitude there for me.

Y'all have a great week
God does not often say yes to my requests because I ask for wrong things and He being all knowing knows just the right thing for me and mind you He aint guessing He knows for sure.

Snip the Skipper

Finally!

Been trying to post for the few days phew but the new post option was not co-operating.

Now that it decides to be nice to me, I've got no time :(. Looks like another busy work day for me.


Can't a girl just read for a living? Won't that just be fun? (Don’t I just wish?)


Anyway, enough of my whining.



I've been having a really good time with FL these last few days. I realise He has been trying to catch my attention but I'm always too busy doing a lot of "nice" things. Only I have been neglecting what is truly important.



Fancy forgetting how to breathe? That is exactly what I have been doing, and then I wonder why I am so worn out at the end of the day.



Just some days ago I was running around frantic and in the midst of it just as I by the way thing, I whispered a prayer- God save me and I heard "Breath".

Now I don't fancy myself as a really deep person or anything like that but at that moment I knew that was exactly what I needed and only one person could have known that. - My First Love.



I heard an analogy yesterday and it clearly depicts what I often find myself doing.



Picture this, I'm taking a walk with my really cute puppy. The puppy (let's call it Snip)

So Snip is excited to be out, the path is really any dog's idea of a dream world.



As we head into the woods this warm evening, the crunching sound of leaves underfoot, the drizzle of 30 minutes ago has left the ground moist and the air nicely fragranced with the not quite dusty-woody smell. Squirrels and other furry little creatures are popping out of holes from various angles and running off who knows where. The birds seem to be having fun singing sweetly in the trees.

Of course Snip is tickled pink with all these activities happening all around.



So he decides my pace is not fast enough, he is chewing the leash, tugging and pulling for all he is worth and has gotten the leash all twisted, he barks excitedly at everything that we come across.



Now does Snip know where I'm doing? Of course not, yet he tries to drag me along to the path he believes is fun and he wants to go even if it means leaving the pathway.



Often times, I am exactly like Snip, FL has the leash but I am too impatient to just let Him guide my direction, I jump and skip, turning around in circles chasing my tail, I've got grand and lofty ideas that lead straight into a pit, but I am too short sighted to see it.



Snip gets himself all worked up, yet he ends up going my way, he tugs and pulls forgetting it is just a cute furry puppy. In the end I am just like Snip, a little girl, desperately in need of her FL.



I don't know the way, I can't even find it by myself even if a map is drawn for me, yet I don't want to be guided. What if I go down that path, I would get so lost, that all the search and rescue teams won't be able to do anything for me :)



So that's one lesson I am finally getting my head around.



In case you are wondering, now I am breathing.



Y'all don't forget to breathe ok.

10 Lil things about me

1) I love God- that is one thing I cannot say I fully understand or comprehend but I am learning more each day what that sentence means and praying to live it

2) I love ML- he is such a sweetheart. Love such a big word ehe but I chose to love him and guess what? I enjoy loving him.

3) I enjoy reading- now that is a mild way of putting it. Maybe you will understand better if I say I'll rather read than eat.

4) Writing is one of the most beautiful things next only to my number 5. It allows me be me. The ink neither complains nor does the pen cringe as I divulge my numerous imaginations and ideas.

5) Sea, ocean about any large water body especially in it's gentle state. Rolling waves and gentle breeze, hmm I can almost taste the salt. A totally idyllic view.

6) I like blue, white, pink, red and almost all colours in between but Blue just stands out. It is such a soothing colour. I can like almost anything blue. The lighter the shade the better :)

7) I talk to myself like all the time- not the in your head type conversation only but speaking out loud type too. I bet everyone does that right ;)

8) I totally detest high heel shoes , mehn I have concluded it is just someone's idea of punishing us ladies especially in the corporate world. Where are the trainers please?


9) I think food is such a bother and sleep is a waste of perfectly good time unless of course it is at night.

10) I enjoy singing, listening to good music and of course dancing makes a good accomplice to those two.

Y'all have a great weekend.

I'm back

Hey,
Been a long bit right?
It has been been an crazy/ busy/interesting last few weeks, but I am back now, me think :)

Will do a full post real soon but for now, you could listen to the song that says all that is in my heart right now- Give you more by J Moss

Tomorrow

Who know what tomorrow holds?
Who even knows for sure what the next minute carries in its bosom?

Each day we live like blind bats, flying round hoping to land on a rich feast

Hoping to find the utopia often talked about.

Yet who would find it?

What distinguishes that one person from the next?

All lies in mystery.

Answers we may never know
But one thing we all know
Tomorrow we hope to see

We hope it brings joy
We hope it promises greatness
But most importantly we hope we know tomorrow.

See you all tomorrow :)

Alas, He Died

It was a long weary day, for He knew what was about to happen. It had been told Him as He had for my sake dropped his jewel of Omnipotence. He had to sit with the Father to peep into what ordinarily was readily at His disposal.

This sacrifice He made for me is oh so mighty but you know what I did not care!

With the weight of this revelation weighing on His mind, He was burdened and in agony as He could not fit this into what part of saving people or good plan this was but He knew there had to be more.

So He departed with three close friends to unravel the mystery of the revelation but He could not just be there but had to walk long miles as he gave up the switch of OMNIPRECENSE so that He won't freak me out.

He knew somewhere in His mind that He was the King yet could not explain to any where He left His crown and glory. For doing this would have further sent me far from Him.
He loved me oh so dearly.

He got to understand betrayal like I do because His best friends were of no comfort or help to Him when He needed them most they just Had to sleep. While another schemed to give Him away for money.

He could have kept them awake but He had given up His master key that allows Him access to keep their minds on fire.
He gave up much more than just His life when He saved me. He gave up everything and in exchange for what I wonder
Poor, old, wicked and wretched me.

Oh that thought is too great for me, to mighty for me to understand
That the Creator would become as a created just to hang out with me, to feel my pains, to save me from myself.
Giving up his Royalty, Power, All knowing and Ever present, His Word that made all things.

Becoming a baby in the womb of His creature, from that moment He gave up all the benefits of being the Script Master, Director, Controller, Creator, even the company of the God heads. The Trinity split because of me!

Just walk with me try to picture this if you can, three amazing thrones made of substance that my wildest imagination has not been able to conjure. Diamond, platinum, gold, silver and all the precious stones put together have nothing on the component of these thrones.

Thirteen million angels constantly worshiping and praising along with all other creatures in heaven. The robes of all three cannot even be looked at because even the sun is pale in comparism to on the radiance emanating from their awesome presence.

Then the Father says He wants to save me but the picture He has painted of how the salvation will look like made even the Avenging angel to shudder with fear.

They all see me with my constant defiance, there most certainly no way anyone was willing to leave the gathering for a piece of crap like me so they keep worshiping and thinking, hoping and most fervently desiring that the Father will forget about this new quest of His.

Oh they were not there at the beginning when I was fashioned, they did not see the grand plans the Trinity was privy to that, just as the worshipers thought the Father must be changing Him mind by the unexplainable catch in their breaths and the brilliance of the presence that was already too mighty for them yet it suddenly intensified to the degree that they all had to remain face down to the ground and still as though dead but the floor as shaking everything was shaking little did they realize that the Son as they knew Him had moved and was about to change everything they knew. He got up from His throne, got down to the worship arena and knelt bowing before the God head. It was just His movement that stilled everything and sent a chill down their backs. But when He said I will go
I can only imagine the terror and wonder in their
minds, saying "Why would He?"

Because of me Christ knows something I never will- God turning His back on Him.
The heavens was agitated waiting only for a signal from him to break him free from the cross but He gave no signal
And Friday night He Died.
The earth knew it and the heavens was silent.
Alas He died!

Love’s Conquest

I fear what I see
I fear what is hidden
I fear what is assumed
But all the fear feeds on is my imagination

I refuse to be cowed by fear
I refuse to be crowded by fear
I refuse to be conquered by fear

Is it that fear ceases to exist
Is it that fear is but a myth
Is fear really so weak
Then I wonder how fear makes me fear

I am the Princess how can I fear
I live in His palace no fear can reach me
I love so fear cannot stay
Fear flees when my love is perfected

I face my fear
I fight my fear
I frustrate my fear
Till the fears fear me.

I love so I speak
He loves so He promised
His love has come to perfect my love
So fear flees because I love

To Love

Hey, how are you all doing?
Been away for a bit. Hope y’all have fun plans for the “special” weekend?

Anyways whatever it is make sure you have fun.

Here’s a quick note for the 2 loves in my life. One Perfect the other imperfect but both more than I could ask for. Thank you FL- You are awsome

My darling Love
Loving you
It’s not something I need to deliberate on
It’s not something I need to be convinced about
I love you not just on the high days
Not just on the great days
Not only for the smooth sails
But for all trails
Loving you is simply what I do

I love you when I am excited
Even when the days are dull
When the mood is low
And when the pain won’t stop
It is a decision I have made
Not a whim I follow
I love you
This I say with all joy.

FL
Loving you is more than I could explain
Your love for me is more that I can comprehend
Even when I am not in my best behaviour Your love does not stop
It does not cease even for a moment because if ever it did I would be dead
Your love is unconditional

I want to love the way You love
Not minding my weaknesses
Or my shortcomings
Not minding my constant questions
And ever so frequent straying

I need to live my life loving You
In my words
In my deeds
In my thoughts
And my ways

May Your love consume me till Your love is made perfect in me.
To my First Love, You truly are my everything.

Tolumide says a bit about that love here. Enjoy!

All in a flash

Driving down the Main Street was just as usual nothing really out of place that wet morning; I was almost at Walter Street, which housed my office. It was another day off to work again. But is someone following me? I wondered. Looking in the rear mirror, there were no familiar cars from earlier on the trip but then it was dark so how could I tell for sure.

To shake off the odd feeling I decided not to go my usual route after all that’s what happens in movies, the victim’s routine is well monitored before the attacker strikes. The bad guys always come with full awareness of every tiniest detail.
Anyway, I decided not to turn off at Marble Street rather to go up the Connor Bridge then turn into Walter Street. Not like anyone would be following me but then it hurts nothing right?

As I climbed Connor bridge I noticed something I could not see earlier, because it was dark but Connor bridge is well illuminated, behind me were two Bugatti Veyron and as they got closer I realized they were Sang Noir, now those are some engines I thought, imagine there are only 15 of those ever produced.
Wait a minute did I really see 2 SANG NOIR!
What would they be doing here at this time of the day?
A person that can afford one of that would not need to be running around before dawn to beat traffic congestion or anything like that I thought.

Very odd I thought.
Just then the two of them seemed to close in on me and seemed to be bent on push me off the Connor Bridge. No that’s got to be my imagination, about then I noticed another car from the rear gaining on us so I thought at least this guys will give these two something fun to do than terrorize poor old me in my regular Toyota. But to my utmost surprise the new car approaching was another freaking Bugatti Veyron and OMG! It is a Pure breed (Pur Sang) now there are only 5 of those ever made so I guess you understand my surprise.

Ok back to my predicament who has time to ogle a car no matter how rare- Connor Bridge is across the Atlantic Ocean and I CANNOT swim! I never learnt to, how do I intend to pull off an emergency swimming lesson in the ocean? Even if I make it out of the car alive with these guys that seem bent on chasing me off the road?

For a brief second I thought of out running them but quickly I realized the folly of my though these are Bugatti Veyrons! They are built for just one thing SPEED! Besides one is right beside me with just enough space not to touch me but not enough for me to pull any quick action the other was practically ridding on my poor car’s bumper. While the pure breed seems content to watch as the show unfolds. How sadistic.

What do I do? Who will save me in all these?

My phone is near but I can’t take my hands off the steering, because we are on some breakneck speed here with me hoping to wiggle away from the edge, and I have not gotten round to activating my voice dial so amongst other things I will be paying for my procrastination.

At least I would have been able to call my boyfriend and say I love you one last time tell him what is happening so that at least someone will have the true story of how I died.
All these thoughts swilled in my head as I caught a glimpse of the mean looking Bruce Willis type guys in the vehicles around me. About then an intimidating Hummer H3 Alpha was gaining quickly and as that happened I watched as the vehicle next to me seemed about to take off, I was almost relieved till I realized he was only making room for the SUV to do what he could not; ram his car into mine and send me into the ocean below.

All this while other cars just passed bye like nothing was happening.
Won’t anyone help?
Would someone call a police?
What did I do to deserve this?
Still I wished I could pick my phone to call for help but then who has time to call anybody when I am one half of the car was off the road, no scratch that, one half of the car was already on the safety rail all they need is one more shove and my car and I will make breaking news that morning.

To think I thought it was a normal day!

So I thought to say a quick prayer, my last I guess. As I was doing this, a shiny silver car appears from nowhere- I did not quite get the brand or make this time around, and it charges at the hummer that was poised to toss me over, horns blaring and all, before I could blink the 3 cars cycling us (the hummer and I) earlier were pulling away at a neck breaking speed the guy in the hummer took one look at the silver car and you could see the look of horror that was on his face as he seemed to recognize who was in the silver car.
All in a blink the road was free again they were all gone. The silver car seemed to follow them till they were totally out of sight. Somehow I managed to get my car off the rail back to the floor after which I let out the floodgate of tears that had welled up within me for the last horrible 20 minutes of my life.
Suddenly I saw a really bright light shine on my face and I wondered for a minute- did I die? Was that God’s glory shinning or what to my utmost disappointment but pleasure it was only the headlight of a Cherokee jeep that drove into the parking lot. Then it came to me, I was in fact in the parking lot of my office and had been there for the last 30 minutes!
It was only my pounding heart that seemed to believe that entire sinister stunt actually took place.
… it was all in my mind.

I Stand

In the eye of the storm I stand
I won’t
Back down
Stand down
Bow down
Or even look down
I will walk tall
Stand tall and
Still stand
The storm may be fierce but it only lasts for so long
I am a victor not a victim
So no I won’t hang down my head in shame
I am made for the top
So I won’t sit below eating the bread of shame or drinking the wine of failure
No obstacle will stop me rather it only teaches me the ways things won’t work

In the eye of the storm
I stand
YES I STAND

Musing

There are times I wonder why do bad things happen to good people?
Just as the thought is completed it is quickly followed by who are good people? What makes a person qualify as a good person anyway?
But then good or not so good why do bad things happen?
Can’t God just stop them? He is powerful enough to stop anything.
But I also remember if He were to do that then:
*we cease to be humans since we have to go by His commands, we become like robots that are controlled by the switches put in them by the inventor or like camels that are directed by the bits in their mouth.
*we cease to reap the consequence of our actions or inaction. Should a farmer plan oranges and reap bananas now that would really be absurd seeing bananas growing on a mango tree or oranges on a banana tree then why do we ask God to take away the effects of our actions.

Yet we are good people right we demand justice from the government but we are not even just enough to accept the consequence of our actions?
Have you ever had an exam that you did not prepare for yet you prayed to pass it? Then you are asking that justice should not be served, you are no different from the guy who is trying to bribe a judge from passing a life sentence on a murderer. Tough right? Yeah but that is the case only God the judge in this case is not likely to be like the judge that gets swayed by the money involved. There is nothing you can give God that He does not already have

So then again who is a good person?
Is it the guy that goes to church and religiously pays his tithe knowing God will return in multiple fold what he has given to Him and his sole reason for doing this is to get the blessing of giving sure He will get the blessing but is this truly what makes him a good man? Is God expected to look the other way when he claims more refund from his workplace than he actually spent on that trip?
Or is it that lady that serves as a volunteer in the orphanage just to make sure that those little children get a tough of love? She gives all her resources to help then gives her time and heart too, only she thinks she is good enough for God as a result of these actions?

Our righteousness is like a dirty rag before God and He is not swayes by our actions because He knows what we are and that the imaginations of our heart is wicked continually -note the Bible says continually, not just till they come to know Christ and are saved. Getting saved does not rid you of your flesh, the fact that you are fair skinned even if it is a chemical assisted colour does not automatically change now that you are saved. Your heart still belongs to you, if you naturally are not organized you don’t become organized by the following day simply because you got saved so why do you think the tendencies of your heart to think evil goes away once you get saved?

Would you be proud of yourself if ALL your thoughts are broadcasted to the whole world daily as they come up? Would you be comfortable having your family, friends and loved ones listening to it?
NO?
Any you are a good person right?
I don’t want to imagine what is would be like if you are a bad person.

The only one able to lay sole claim on being good is God. He alone is entitled to hold that title. He puts up with me and all my many inadequacies and yours too.
He does not treat us the way we treat people we feel are slighting us yet we slight him daily.
God, I am thankful You are not me or any other human for that matter else …
There will be no more earth.
I am thankful.

Its 2010!

HAPPY NEW YEAR to y'all.
It's a beautiful year I can see that already.
Went to a wedding briefly today and it was so beautiful.

Anyways I have to go off to work now.

See y'all around.