I’ve been away for too long but I am back today. I can’t promise how soon I would blog again but then someone inspired me to do this today. That’s Dante. I just went on my usual blog hunting trip not thinking I would find anything that would push me out of my lil corner but then I stumbled on his blog I really think he’s got the coolest guy blog I have read in a while. I was beginning to think it was just ladies that had the really nice ones but he surprised me and in a way also made me feel less bad about not blogging regularly considering the fact that I haven’t updated since November and here we are December is all gone.
It’s been a really great month though. It started with seeing friends and family members I haven’t seen in a long while, way too long while followed by missed flight, then exam, then seeing some really cool friends again and some not so cool ones too that almost landed me in a pot of soup.
Anyways all in all it’s been a great month. The latest best has been my friend’s wedding. This is a wedding that I have been aware was coming up since the first quarter of the year and it just has been so exciting almost like I was actually planning for my wedding.
You know thinking of it now I have been involved in planning a number of weddings in the last 2 years but this was giving me a different view of the planning process. “The guy planning process” anyways, I can't shout guys na una dey enjoy o.
Well I am at this place in my life where all I do is thank FL continually for all the great things He’s being doing in my life. I have wonderful parents I won't trade for anything(even if we cant agree on anything these days). I have really lovely sisters who constantly keep me on my toes and my brothers are just too wonderful to describe, even if all my music CDs keep getting missing each time they have access to my Cadillac (not really just my preferred name for my automobile) well they are mine all the same and I love them to bits.
Then I thank FL for all my really wonderful friends and the not so wonderful ones too at least they had been wonderful at one point or the other.
Then the blog folks that have keep me from pulling out my hair on really crazy days with their lovely write-ups
My colleagues though there are days that I just want to punch them all but they help me remember I have a job.
And of course for my darling ML even if we live in continents apart I am more than thankful I have him in my life and I love him to bits.
A few years back had anyone asked me if I could do a LDR I would say a resounding NO but for ML oh what wont I do?
And you know what? I don’t even know when I would see him just yet.
It’s been a wonderful year all in all and in spite of all the various health scares I had this year I declare I have been blessed way beyond my expectations.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Celebration of Love
I take a deep breath of contentment; it’s been a beautiful journey.
It started out one beautiful afternoon in April a few years back. There I was just defiant with almost everyone around me trying to talk me out of this relationship that was believed to be unhealthy for me. Let me give you a brief insight to this gist. A few years before this about 2 precisely, I was dating this really good friend of mine. Looking back now I really wonder what we both were thinking especially me. I had this perfect idea of how things should work out. I wanted to marry my best friend and I thought the moment I am sure of what I wanted little else mattered. Little did I know at this point that it was not quite that straight forward in real life.
Too many high school movies had clouded my view as to how things really work but you will think I should know better especially after seeing that Save the last dance beautiful as it seemed by the time they were off to college they went their separate ways with an agreement to date other people since they were in different locations.
Anyways this Darlyn here wasn't thinking in those lines. I was thinking more in the lines of Prince Charming and Cinderella living happily ever after. Although I would never have admitted to any of these inclination to ruin the tough girl image
Oops, I was supposed to be talking about the lovely 365 days and I have already dashed back 5 years. Ok I am back. I was just talking about how beautiful loving has been for the last year. I am so tickled right now. I almost cannot believe we made it this far particularly me giving my precedents. Longevity isn't exactly one of my strong points. Besides I have loved every single day of this last year. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a Cinderella or Snow White kinda thing but it was a full rose garden all the way. A rose garden with the fragrance, beauty elegance and of course the thorns (the whole nine yards). I have had it all. The laughter, the tears, the peaceful silence, the screaming quietness. The long days apart, the joy of seeing my beloved's smile. All of it. We've had days that nothing seemed to make sense; we had days where everything was just perfect. But you know what I love every single one of those days even the ones when I cried till the tears stopped coming, till the headaches set in. The days my heart seems about ready to burst for love, the ones where I floated through everything because in all of it I knew I was secured in Love.
I had the greatest guy I could imagine, more perfect than words. Then I had an even more awesome love looking out for me - FL. He brought ML into my life even when I did not know what I really wanted, He did not let me push Him away, rather wearied down my defenses and showed me that He loved me even more than I loved myself by giving me more than I ever could imagine. I have been loved by the best is all I can say. I'll tell you more about how it all started.
Happy Anniversary to Us
It started out one beautiful afternoon in April a few years back. There I was just defiant with almost everyone around me trying to talk me out of this relationship that was believed to be unhealthy for me. Let me give you a brief insight to this gist. A few years before this about 2 precisely, I was dating this really good friend of mine. Looking back now I really wonder what we both were thinking especially me. I had this perfect idea of how things should work out. I wanted to marry my best friend and I thought the moment I am sure of what I wanted little else mattered. Little did I know at this point that it was not quite that straight forward in real life.
Too many high school movies had clouded my view as to how things really work but you will think I should know better especially after seeing that Save the last dance beautiful as it seemed by the time they were off to college they went their separate ways with an agreement to date other people since they were in different locations.
Anyways this Darlyn here wasn't thinking in those lines. I was thinking more in the lines of Prince Charming and Cinderella living happily ever after. Although I would never have admitted to any of these inclination to ruin the tough girl image
Oops, I was supposed to be talking about the lovely 365 days and I have already dashed back 5 years. Ok I am back. I was just talking about how beautiful loving has been for the last year. I am so tickled right now. I almost cannot believe we made it this far particularly me giving my precedents. Longevity isn't exactly one of my strong points. Besides I have loved every single day of this last year. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a Cinderella or Snow White kinda thing but it was a full rose garden all the way. A rose garden with the fragrance, beauty elegance and of course the thorns (the whole nine yards). I have had it all. The laughter, the tears, the peaceful silence, the screaming quietness. The long days apart, the joy of seeing my beloved's smile. All of it. We've had days that nothing seemed to make sense; we had days where everything was just perfect. But you know what I love every single one of those days even the ones when I cried till the tears stopped coming, till the headaches set in. The days my heart seems about ready to burst for love, the ones where I floated through everything because in all of it I knew I was secured in Love.
I had the greatest guy I could imagine, more perfect than words. Then I had an even more awesome love looking out for me - FL. He brought ML into my life even when I did not know what I really wanted, He did not let me push Him away, rather wearied down my defenses and showed me that He loved me even more than I loved myself by giving me more than I ever could imagine. I have been loved by the best is all I can say. I'll tell you more about how it all started.
Happy Anniversary to Us
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Missing smiles
When the smiles wont come
When the smile comes to hide the sigh
When the smile struggles to stay bright because the tears like a wet winter day keeps dousing its warmth
thats how I feel right now.
Oh how long till this shadow lifts.
Oh winter when will summer come again
When the smile comes to hide the sigh
When the smile struggles to stay bright because the tears like a wet winter day keeps dousing its warmth
thats how I feel right now.
Oh how long till this shadow lifts.
Oh winter when will summer come again
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A Psalm for My First Love
1/ I look up to the mountains- does my help come from there?
Why am I looking at the mountain? Looking/Focusing on the mountain only takes my attention off the important thing. I then get side tracked wondering how would I ever get over this mountain. It is so wide how can I walk round it, it’s so high I won’t last trying to climb it to come out on the other side. Oh how would I overcome this mountain?
That exactly is what happens when you look to the mountain – it gets more scary and u get discouraged.
2/ My help comes from the Lord, who made heavens and earth
Now this is the right perspective, this is where I should have looked first, not at the enormity of the task before me, not the impracticability of it. The longer I focus on the mountain the more I forget who I should actually the looking to.
My mind should always remember that only FL can solve any problem or bring be over the mountain and all. My FL created the heaven and the earth- now this should remind me that the mountain was created by my FL, He knew it was there before He lead me in that part- He could have made it disappeared so I don’t have to face it at all but He left it there to make me a better person, it is there to build my trust in FL. He wants to help me remember that when I encounter other mountains I should keep the right mind set- look to FL (creator) not the mountain (creature)
3/ He will not let me let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber
The mountain is there and all the creeping plants around the mountain, the slippery grass is also there and the not so convenient paths to walk through as you climb the mountain- FL is saying in all these I am with you. I am not going to just stand by and watch you fall. I would keep you safe, even if it feels like you have missed a step and the law of gravity is fast winning the battle even then He is keeping you safe. Will you trust Him and let go of the rope you think is keeping you alive?
Remember- FL DOES NOT SLUMBER!!!
4/ Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleep
Now this is a testimony for me- Israel has experienced this protection in the past so FL knows what He is saying and if you need evidence just ask Israel he can tell you.
FL knows the way my heart works, my thinking and reasoning that I am going to ask so who has he kept before that I should trust Him so He provides the answer even before I fully form the question. Isn’t FL great? HALELUYAH!
5/ The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
Now FL is telling you that He is interested in your welfare that He takes it upon Himself to watch over you and even create a protective shade over you so nothing can harm you. You have a covering shade ready for you to use at anytime so why go out without it. What’s the use of a bulletproof vest if you won’t use it?
6/ The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon at night
My FL is saying even forces of nature would not affect me adversely because this protective shade is interested in everything about me. The bullet proof we humans made is only to keep the bullet from penetrating into the body does not stop you from feeling the impact, does not keep you from sun burn or any such- its not built for comfort, but FL is saying I have all your needed comfort at heart s just trust me
7/ The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life
Oh you say FL has said He’ll keep me, ah He does not know all the modern day danger around now all these illnesses flying around, the witches in my village, that bad people all sound me, the serial killers, thieves, rapists and all sorts of unimaginable evils everywhere but FL has said even that I have it covered. Anything that will cause you any form of harm, I will protect you from it. Awesome isn’t it?
8/ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever
What more worries do you have? FL has made all the promises above then He says the timeframe is not just later when you are perfectly grounded in Him- NOW not just when you read this promise but for all time.
All my travels He knows about them and He has undertaken to watch over me all the way- who dares touch me?
Why would I not spend the rest of my life praising this God?
Thank You First Love (FL)
Psalm 121
Why am I looking at the mountain? Looking/Focusing on the mountain only takes my attention off the important thing. I then get side tracked wondering how would I ever get over this mountain. It is so wide how can I walk round it, it’s so high I won’t last trying to climb it to come out on the other side. Oh how would I overcome this mountain?
That exactly is what happens when you look to the mountain – it gets more scary and u get discouraged.
2/ My help comes from the Lord, who made heavens and earth
Now this is the right perspective, this is where I should have looked first, not at the enormity of the task before me, not the impracticability of it. The longer I focus on the mountain the more I forget who I should actually the looking to.
My mind should always remember that only FL can solve any problem or bring be over the mountain and all. My FL created the heaven and the earth- now this should remind me that the mountain was created by my FL, He knew it was there before He lead me in that part- He could have made it disappeared so I don’t have to face it at all but He left it there to make me a better person, it is there to build my trust in FL. He wants to help me remember that when I encounter other mountains I should keep the right mind set- look to FL (creator) not the mountain (creature)
3/ He will not let me let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber
The mountain is there and all the creeping plants around the mountain, the slippery grass is also there and the not so convenient paths to walk through as you climb the mountain- FL is saying in all these I am with you. I am not going to just stand by and watch you fall. I would keep you safe, even if it feels like you have missed a step and the law of gravity is fast winning the battle even then He is keeping you safe. Will you trust Him and let go of the rope you think is keeping you alive?
Remember- FL DOES NOT SLUMBER!!!
4/ Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleep
Now this is a testimony for me- Israel has experienced this protection in the past so FL knows what He is saying and if you need evidence just ask Israel he can tell you.
FL knows the way my heart works, my thinking and reasoning that I am going to ask so who has he kept before that I should trust Him so He provides the answer even before I fully form the question. Isn’t FL great? HALELUYAH!
5/ The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
Now FL is telling you that He is interested in your welfare that He takes it upon Himself to watch over you and even create a protective shade over you so nothing can harm you. You have a covering shade ready for you to use at anytime so why go out without it. What’s the use of a bulletproof vest if you won’t use it?
6/ The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon at night
My FL is saying even forces of nature would not affect me adversely because this protective shade is interested in everything about me. The bullet proof we humans made is only to keep the bullet from penetrating into the body does not stop you from feeling the impact, does not keep you from sun burn or any such- its not built for comfort, but FL is saying I have all your needed comfort at heart s just trust me
7/ The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life
Oh you say FL has said He’ll keep me, ah He does not know all the modern day danger around now all these illnesses flying around, the witches in my village, that bad people all sound me, the serial killers, thieves, rapists and all sorts of unimaginable evils everywhere but FL has said even that I have it covered. Anything that will cause you any form of harm, I will protect you from it. Awesome isn’t it?
8/ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever
What more worries do you have? FL has made all the promises above then He says the timeframe is not just later when you are perfectly grounded in Him- NOW not just when you read this promise but for all time.
All my travels He knows about them and He has undertaken to watch over me all the way- who dares touch me?
Why would I not spend the rest of my life praising this God?
Thank You First Love (FL)
Psalm 121
Sunday, October 11, 2009
My Musing
My Isaiah 53 Vs 4-6;12
But He took my suffering on Him and felt my pain for me.
I saw His suffering and thought God was punishing Him
But He was wounded for the wrong I did; He was crushed for the evil I did.
The punishment, which made me well, was given to Him
And I am healed because of His wounds.
I have wandered away like sheep; I have gone my own way.
But the LORD has put on Him the punishment for all the evil I have done
For this reason, God said HE will make Him a great man among people,
And He will share in all things with those who are strong.
He willingly gave His life and was treated like a criminal.
But He carried away my sins (and yours too even that of ML) and asked forgiveness for me when I sinned
I took the liberty to turn these words to myself and I didn’t finish off feeling I scored a point rather I saw myself not worthy of His love yet He loves me. I can’t understand it at all. Can you?
FL, how can I say thank You enough? You did all these for me yet I don’t live like I love you. Forgive me for my many shortcomings. I would be who you want me to be.
He did all these for LOVE.
He loves me!
I'm His Darlyn!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I'm back
I have stayed away from you for so long and I am really sorry about that. I know you are accusing me of deserting you and going to every other person. I know its true I am guilty of visiting every other person and have refused to come home. Would you please forgive me?
I have been so worried that maybe you wont like me. Maybe I would be boring, maybe I am not going to be fun enough for you but now I realize that all those are excuses you know me and love me as I am. So as awkward as this may seem I will keep it up till I am able to know you as you should be known. Ok Blog (B) I know you are wondering, “Is she still talking to me or to your First Love (FL)? Actually I started out talking to just you B but along the line I realized somewhere inside me I was also talking to FL and to you then I left you out a lil tiny bity bit at the tail end when I focused on just FL.
Readers please bear with me I have a tendency to do that but hey it makes it all more fun.
So I know you might be wondering what I have been doing all these while I’ve been away? I have been busy with work (believe me you don’t want to hear about it- you are likely to get pissed at them all as I was for most of it till I learnt to just let it go), the busy road also takes quite some of my time so by the time I am home my books take a large chunk of that time then I spend time with FL and ML
B- hehehehe yeah I got you! Who is ML-?
HD-ok I’ll let you in a lil bit or do you want to guess I know you are really smart- ok I’ll spill- that is My love- that is the darlyn guy that makes my heart go mush
B- ok ok enough details
HD – blushing ;) - you asked
Well I’m working on spending more time with FL, He’s been there for me in so many places and situations that I cant let anybody not even ML to get in the way and ML sure doesn’t want to be in the way
Well I could go on about ML now that I have started but I’ll try not to make you roll your eyes at me. But remember this whole writing is about them and I.
I’ll also like to say THANK YOU to the many bloggers that have made it “necessary” for me to finally join the blogville. If I start to list all your names hmmmm Ok I know what I will do I’ll write up a special blog about y’all.
You’ve been my silent “friends” and support through the years, Yes years been consistently reading blogs since 2006
This blog today is inspired by September- I’m sure the countdown is at its peak. Congrats girl
I have been so worried that maybe you wont like me. Maybe I would be boring, maybe I am not going to be fun enough for you but now I realize that all those are excuses you know me and love me as I am. So as awkward as this may seem I will keep it up till I am able to know you as you should be known. Ok Blog (B) I know you are wondering, “Is she still talking to me or to your First Love (FL)? Actually I started out talking to just you B but along the line I realized somewhere inside me I was also talking to FL and to you then I left you out a lil tiny bity bit at the tail end when I focused on just FL.
Readers please bear with me I have a tendency to do that but hey it makes it all more fun.
So I know you might be wondering what I have been doing all these while I’ve been away? I have been busy with work (believe me you don’t want to hear about it- you are likely to get pissed at them all as I was for most of it till I learnt to just let it go), the busy road also takes quite some of my time so by the time I am home my books take a large chunk of that time then I spend time with FL and ML
B- hehehehe yeah I got you! Who is ML-?
HD-ok I’ll let you in a lil bit or do you want to guess I know you are really smart- ok I’ll spill- that is My love- that is the darlyn guy that makes my heart go mush
B- ok ok enough details
HD – blushing ;) - you asked
Well I’m working on spending more time with FL, He’s been there for me in so many places and situations that I cant let anybody not even ML to get in the way and ML sure doesn’t want to be in the way
Well I could go on about ML now that I have started but I’ll try not to make you roll your eyes at me. But remember this whole writing is about them and I.
I’ll also like to say THANK YOU to the many bloggers that have made it “necessary” for me to finally join the blogville. If I start to list all your names hmmmm Ok I know what I will do I’ll write up a special blog about y’all.
You’ve been my silent “friends” and support through the years, Yes years been consistently reading blogs since 2006
This blog today is inspired by September- I’m sure the countdown is at its peak. Congrats girl
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Its My Birthday!
The long awaited day is here
Much thought and dreamed about
So much weight placed on just one date
It finally is here and all I can do is smile
So much work to do- the office peeps didn't even try to be nice today
Anyway I choose to smile and I did just that
Even when I felt like screaming at them
At the end of it all I can say its a great day all the same
Despite the fact that I was on the road for about 3 hours just to get home
I am thankful not minding that my whole body protests of exhaustion
Still I thank the Maker of Life for keeping me alive and providing all the many things I have to complain about
Without the job I wont be able to complain about the office peeps not caring
Without the car I cant complain of driving for 3 hours
Without life I cant understand the aches and pain
The many friends and acquaintances that all graced the day
I am most grateful
Dear blog thanks for sharing my thoughts
Much thought and dreamed about
So much weight placed on just one date
It finally is here and all I can do is smile
So much work to do- the office peeps didn't even try to be nice today
Anyway I choose to smile and I did just that
Even when I felt like screaming at them
At the end of it all I can say its a great day all the same
Despite the fact that I was on the road for about 3 hours just to get home
I am thankful not minding that my whole body protests of exhaustion
Still I thank the Maker of Life for keeping me alive and providing all the many things I have to complain about
Without the job I wont be able to complain about the office peeps not caring
Without the car I cant complain of driving for 3 hours
Without life I cant understand the aches and pain
The many friends and acquaintances that all graced the day
I am most grateful
Dear blog thanks for sharing my thoughts
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I’m so excited
In a matter of days (more like hours it feels to me) ‘twill be my birthday. I’ve always loved the thought of having a birthday, not like I have parties or anything outta here to some but I just love it all the same. It’s me realizing I’m yet another year older, looking back over the years that this number seemed like some really old person’s age anyway I am just about that age now. Mehn I’m getting old but I like it even if the folks forget that their lil girl is actually growing older.
Ok I am rambling; I always tend to get hyper just before my birthday. I’m getting myself a BIG cake. I am just so excited and I know it’s going to be a really great day. I just hope work peeps respect that day and don’t try to stress me.
Blogville seemed much more interesting when I read other people’s pages, I might just be the most boring blogger but I don’t intend to back down. I waited this long to start blogging so whatever it takes I’ll keep at it so don’t worry you won’t see the last of me anytime soon though I am still trying to figure out how to make my page more colorful and more like what I really want it to look like.
These past few days I realize I’ve not been all I could so I intend to work on that seriously from now.
Whatever I need to so must be done now not later
Delay gratification- it’s cool to relax after hard work not the other way round
Feed my mind on healthy things as I am trying to work on a more healthy eating habit too
Be the best I can be in all situations
I can be the best as long as I am willing to keep working hard and not back down
I’m cute, pretty and sexy- He made me that way
I love Him and I intend to like I do love Him cos I really do.
Ok see u again in a few hours
In a matter of days (more like hours it feels to me) ‘twill be my birthday. I’ve always loved the thought of having a birthday, not like I have parties or anything outta here to some but I just love it all the same. It’s me realizing I’m yet another year older, looking back over the years that this number seemed like some really old person’s age anyway I am just about that age now. Mehn I’m getting old but I like it even if the folks forget that their lil girl is actually growing older.
Ok I am rambling; I always tend to get hyper just before my birthday. I’m getting myself a BIG cake. I am just so excited and I know it’s going to be a really great day. I just hope work peeps respect that day and don’t try to stress me.
Blogville seemed much more interesting when I read other people’s pages, I might just be the most boring blogger but I don’t intend to back down. I waited this long to start blogging so whatever it takes I’ll keep at it so don’t worry you won’t see the last of me anytime soon though I am still trying to figure out how to make my page more colorful and more like what I really want it to look like.
These past few days I realize I’ve not been all I could so I intend to work on that seriously from now.
Whatever I need to so must be done now not later
Delay gratification- it’s cool to relax after hard work not the other way round
Feed my mind on healthy things as I am trying to work on a more healthy eating habit too
Be the best I can be in all situations
I can be the best as long as I am willing to keep working hard and not back down
I’m cute, pretty and sexy- He made me that way
I love Him and I intend to like I do love Him cos I really do.
Ok see u again in a few hours
Friday, June 5, 2009
He calls me Darling
I am His darling
He loves me inspite of myself
He cares even when I can't be bothered
He is the one constant person I go back to when I've failed again and does not say "I told you so"
Instead He listens, cries with me, then wipes my tears and tells me He still loves me
I should have understood that long ago but somehow I guess I'm still holding my breath incase he decides one day that He no longer cares
I am only trying to protect myself from the hurt of rejection
Its hurts him because he know that's my thought
I no longer want to hurt Him but some how I still do that
I am actively going to work on stopping that
I'll document what he does for me and hope talking more about it would help me see how he loves me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)