I take a deep breath of contentment; it’s been a beautiful journey.
It started out one beautiful afternoon in April a few years back. There I was just defiant with almost everyone around me trying to talk me out of this relationship that was believed to be unhealthy for me. Let me give you a brief insight to this gist. A few years before this about 2 precisely, I was dating this really good friend of mine. Looking back now I really wonder what we both were thinking especially me. I had this perfect idea of how things should work out. I wanted to marry my best friend and I thought the moment I am sure of what I wanted little else mattered. Little did I know at this point that it was not quite that straight forward in real life.
Too many high school movies had clouded my view as to how things really work but you will think I should know better especially after seeing that Save the last dance beautiful as it seemed by the time they were off to college they went their separate ways with an agreement to date other people since they were in different locations.
Anyways this Darlyn here wasn't thinking in those lines. I was thinking more in the lines of Prince Charming and Cinderella living happily ever after. Although I would never have admitted to any of these inclination to ruin the tough girl image
Oops, I was supposed to be talking about the lovely 365 days and I have already dashed back 5 years. Ok I am back. I was just talking about how beautiful loving has been for the last year. I am so tickled right now. I almost cannot believe we made it this far particularly me giving my precedents. Longevity isn't exactly one of my strong points. Besides I have loved every single day of this last year. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a Cinderella or Snow White kinda thing but it was a full rose garden all the way. A rose garden with the fragrance, beauty elegance and of course the thorns (the whole nine yards). I have had it all. The laughter, the tears, the peaceful silence, the screaming quietness. The long days apart, the joy of seeing my beloved's smile. All of it. We've had days that nothing seemed to make sense; we had days where everything was just perfect. But you know what I love every single one of those days even the ones when I cried till the tears stopped coming, till the headaches set in. The days my heart seems about ready to burst for love, the ones where I floated through everything because in all of it I knew I was secured in Love.
I had the greatest guy I could imagine, more perfect than words. Then I had an even more awesome love looking out for me - FL. He brought ML into my life even when I did not know what I really wanted, He did not let me push Him away, rather wearied down my defenses and showed me that He loved me even more than I loved myself by giving me more than I ever could imagine. I have been loved by the best is all I can say. I'll tell you more about how it all started.
Happy Anniversary to Us
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Missing smiles
When the smiles wont come
When the smile comes to hide the sigh
When the smile struggles to stay bright because the tears like a wet winter day keeps dousing its warmth
thats how I feel right now.
Oh how long till this shadow lifts.
Oh winter when will summer come again
When the smile comes to hide the sigh
When the smile struggles to stay bright because the tears like a wet winter day keeps dousing its warmth
thats how I feel right now.
Oh how long till this shadow lifts.
Oh winter when will summer come again
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A Psalm for My First Love
1/ I look up to the mountains- does my help come from there?
Why am I looking at the mountain? Looking/Focusing on the mountain only takes my attention off the important thing. I then get side tracked wondering how would I ever get over this mountain. It is so wide how can I walk round it, it’s so high I won’t last trying to climb it to come out on the other side. Oh how would I overcome this mountain?
That exactly is what happens when you look to the mountain – it gets more scary and u get discouraged.
2/ My help comes from the Lord, who made heavens and earth
Now this is the right perspective, this is where I should have looked first, not at the enormity of the task before me, not the impracticability of it. The longer I focus on the mountain the more I forget who I should actually the looking to.
My mind should always remember that only FL can solve any problem or bring be over the mountain and all. My FL created the heaven and the earth- now this should remind me that the mountain was created by my FL, He knew it was there before He lead me in that part- He could have made it disappeared so I don’t have to face it at all but He left it there to make me a better person, it is there to build my trust in FL. He wants to help me remember that when I encounter other mountains I should keep the right mind set- look to FL (creator) not the mountain (creature)
3/ He will not let me let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber
The mountain is there and all the creeping plants around the mountain, the slippery grass is also there and the not so convenient paths to walk through as you climb the mountain- FL is saying in all these I am with you. I am not going to just stand by and watch you fall. I would keep you safe, even if it feels like you have missed a step and the law of gravity is fast winning the battle even then He is keeping you safe. Will you trust Him and let go of the rope you think is keeping you alive?
Remember- FL DOES NOT SLUMBER!!!
4/ Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleep
Now this is a testimony for me- Israel has experienced this protection in the past so FL knows what He is saying and if you need evidence just ask Israel he can tell you.
FL knows the way my heart works, my thinking and reasoning that I am going to ask so who has he kept before that I should trust Him so He provides the answer even before I fully form the question. Isn’t FL great? HALELUYAH!
5/ The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
Now FL is telling you that He is interested in your welfare that He takes it upon Himself to watch over you and even create a protective shade over you so nothing can harm you. You have a covering shade ready for you to use at anytime so why go out without it. What’s the use of a bulletproof vest if you won’t use it?
6/ The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon at night
My FL is saying even forces of nature would not affect me adversely because this protective shade is interested in everything about me. The bullet proof we humans made is only to keep the bullet from penetrating into the body does not stop you from feeling the impact, does not keep you from sun burn or any such- its not built for comfort, but FL is saying I have all your needed comfort at heart s just trust me
7/ The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life
Oh you say FL has said He’ll keep me, ah He does not know all the modern day danger around now all these illnesses flying around, the witches in my village, that bad people all sound me, the serial killers, thieves, rapists and all sorts of unimaginable evils everywhere but FL has said even that I have it covered. Anything that will cause you any form of harm, I will protect you from it. Awesome isn’t it?
8/ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever
What more worries do you have? FL has made all the promises above then He says the timeframe is not just later when you are perfectly grounded in Him- NOW not just when you read this promise but for all time.
All my travels He knows about them and He has undertaken to watch over me all the way- who dares touch me?
Why would I not spend the rest of my life praising this God?
Thank You First Love (FL)
Psalm 121
Why am I looking at the mountain? Looking/Focusing on the mountain only takes my attention off the important thing. I then get side tracked wondering how would I ever get over this mountain. It is so wide how can I walk round it, it’s so high I won’t last trying to climb it to come out on the other side. Oh how would I overcome this mountain?
That exactly is what happens when you look to the mountain – it gets more scary and u get discouraged.
2/ My help comes from the Lord, who made heavens and earth
Now this is the right perspective, this is where I should have looked first, not at the enormity of the task before me, not the impracticability of it. The longer I focus on the mountain the more I forget who I should actually the looking to.
My mind should always remember that only FL can solve any problem or bring be over the mountain and all. My FL created the heaven and the earth- now this should remind me that the mountain was created by my FL, He knew it was there before He lead me in that part- He could have made it disappeared so I don’t have to face it at all but He left it there to make me a better person, it is there to build my trust in FL. He wants to help me remember that when I encounter other mountains I should keep the right mind set- look to FL (creator) not the mountain (creature)
3/ He will not let me let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber
The mountain is there and all the creeping plants around the mountain, the slippery grass is also there and the not so convenient paths to walk through as you climb the mountain- FL is saying in all these I am with you. I am not going to just stand by and watch you fall. I would keep you safe, even if it feels like you have missed a step and the law of gravity is fast winning the battle even then He is keeping you safe. Will you trust Him and let go of the rope you think is keeping you alive?
Remember- FL DOES NOT SLUMBER!!!
4/ Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleep
Now this is a testimony for me- Israel has experienced this protection in the past so FL knows what He is saying and if you need evidence just ask Israel he can tell you.
FL knows the way my heart works, my thinking and reasoning that I am going to ask so who has he kept before that I should trust Him so He provides the answer even before I fully form the question. Isn’t FL great? HALELUYAH!
5/ The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
Now FL is telling you that He is interested in your welfare that He takes it upon Himself to watch over you and even create a protective shade over you so nothing can harm you. You have a covering shade ready for you to use at anytime so why go out without it. What’s the use of a bulletproof vest if you won’t use it?
6/ The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon at night
My FL is saying even forces of nature would not affect me adversely because this protective shade is interested in everything about me. The bullet proof we humans made is only to keep the bullet from penetrating into the body does not stop you from feeling the impact, does not keep you from sun burn or any such- its not built for comfort, but FL is saying I have all your needed comfort at heart s just trust me
7/ The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life
Oh you say FL has said He’ll keep me, ah He does not know all the modern day danger around now all these illnesses flying around, the witches in my village, that bad people all sound me, the serial killers, thieves, rapists and all sorts of unimaginable evils everywhere but FL has said even that I have it covered. Anything that will cause you any form of harm, I will protect you from it. Awesome isn’t it?
8/ The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever
What more worries do you have? FL has made all the promises above then He says the timeframe is not just later when you are perfectly grounded in Him- NOW not just when you read this promise but for all time.
All my travels He knows about them and He has undertaken to watch over me all the way- who dares touch me?
Why would I not spend the rest of my life praising this God?
Thank You First Love (FL)
Psalm 121
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)