The Farmer

I pray for rain


I weep in pain

I moan and groan

But all in vain



For my yard is over grown

And the farm is all brown

Remnant of the last season

I’m yet to cut down



Easy to pray

Cheap to weep

But my part will I play?

For surely the rain will come

But what would it bless?

When all I do is weep and moan and groan

A Song

I need a song


A song to sing

I need a song

A song that cheers

I need a song

A song to put me at ease

I need a song

That tells all my heart cries



I love

I live

I wait

I weep

I hope, oh still I hope

That when my song comes

I’ll dance all the way

By myself

When it is left to just me and You


I am free to sing

I am free to dance

I am free to say the words "I love You"

Knowing You deserve it right well and I am so unworthy



When there is just me and You

I come true, shedding all the masks

Coming before the one that know all and loves me still

How else can I say it, I come before the one that loves me undeserving as I am



Then I look in the eyes of love,

I come to fully understand why He bore the pain and the shame He knew I would daily bring

He did it just in hope that I would let Him love me as I should be loved

A love only He understands and yes I love Him

Yes I love Jesus!

I love love :)

Grateful!!!

About 3 months or so back as I sat waiting to see my doctor in a rather posh waiting room, I flip through a professional magazine reviewing the exam I failed last year trying to determine what to do differently to ensure success in the next attempt.

Just then CNN came to me first with Larry King on the suicide of bullied teenage girl and I think to myself how pitiful it was that she had to take her own life which in my opinion leads to a worse end than the realities she had to live with.

It made me reflect to my teenage years and be thankful to God for the ability to be grounded in Him and stand my ground in whatever situation I found f myself. I had a philosophy which helped - 'nobody can intimidate me without my permission' but would I give the permission? No way!. I always reminded myself that even when you are not bold/ courageous, pretend you are no one can tell the difference anyway :).

I sure had my share of would-be bullies but I learnt to stand my ground and they would back down.

After the Larry King show, came the news and again I was reminded of loads of reasons to be thankful, Sudan was at war for like forever and for what you may ask? Religious reasons (Islam Vs Christian)  Just ridiculous , just the thought makes me shiver to think of the number of times my dearly beloved home country Nigeria had been toying on and off with such issues.

In all I look around and constantly see reasons to be grateful. It's not just when things are going the way I hope they would but even when they are not going in the direction I hope and  hey wait a minute, what exactly am I asking for?
All my wishes and heart desires granted?
No way!
That is a recipe for disaster, I don't know about you but for me I know how many times I look back and realise what I was asking for was just not good for me but in that time and situation I was so sure it was the best thing for me, it is only FL's mercy that has kept me from those things and instead of giving me those things I so fervently wanted and believed I should have, He instead said no or gave me what was appropriate a those times.

That's just a lil flash of gratitude there for me.

Y'all have a great week
God does not often say yes to my requests because I ask for wrong things and He being all knowing knows just the right thing for me and mind you He aint guessing He knows for sure.

Snip the Skipper

Finally!

Been trying to post for the few days phew but the new post option was not co-operating.

Now that it decides to be nice to me, I've got no time :(. Looks like another busy work day for me.


Can't a girl just read for a living? Won't that just be fun? (Don’t I just wish?)


Anyway, enough of my whining.



I've been having a really good time with FL these last few days. I realise He has been trying to catch my attention but I'm always too busy doing a lot of "nice" things. Only I have been neglecting what is truly important.



Fancy forgetting how to breathe? That is exactly what I have been doing, and then I wonder why I am so worn out at the end of the day.



Just some days ago I was running around frantic and in the midst of it just as I by the way thing, I whispered a prayer- God save me and I heard "Breath".

Now I don't fancy myself as a really deep person or anything like that but at that moment I knew that was exactly what I needed and only one person could have known that. - My First Love.



I heard an analogy yesterday and it clearly depicts what I often find myself doing.



Picture this, I'm taking a walk with my really cute puppy. The puppy (let's call it Snip)

So Snip is excited to be out, the path is really any dog's idea of a dream world.



As we head into the woods this warm evening, the crunching sound of leaves underfoot, the drizzle of 30 minutes ago has left the ground moist and the air nicely fragranced with the not quite dusty-woody smell. Squirrels and other furry little creatures are popping out of holes from various angles and running off who knows where. The birds seem to be having fun singing sweetly in the trees.

Of course Snip is tickled pink with all these activities happening all around.



So he decides my pace is not fast enough, he is chewing the leash, tugging and pulling for all he is worth and has gotten the leash all twisted, he barks excitedly at everything that we come across.



Now does Snip know where I'm doing? Of course not, yet he tries to drag me along to the path he believes is fun and he wants to go even if it means leaving the pathway.



Often times, I am exactly like Snip, FL has the leash but I am too impatient to just let Him guide my direction, I jump and skip, turning around in circles chasing my tail, I've got grand and lofty ideas that lead straight into a pit, but I am too short sighted to see it.



Snip gets himself all worked up, yet he ends up going my way, he tugs and pulls forgetting it is just a cute furry puppy. In the end I am just like Snip, a little girl, desperately in need of her FL.



I don't know the way, I can't even find it by myself even if a map is drawn for me, yet I don't want to be guided. What if I go down that path, I would get so lost, that all the search and rescue teams won't be able to do anything for me :)



So that's one lesson I am finally getting my head around.



In case you are wondering, now I am breathing.



Y'all don't forget to breathe ok.

10 Lil things about me

1) I love God- that is one thing I cannot say I fully understand or comprehend but I am learning more each day what that sentence means and praying to live it

2) I love ML- he is such a sweetheart. Love such a big word ehe but I chose to love him and guess what? I enjoy loving him.

3) I enjoy reading- now that is a mild way of putting it. Maybe you will understand better if I say I'll rather read than eat.

4) Writing is one of the most beautiful things next only to my number 5. It allows me be me. The ink neither complains nor does the pen cringe as I divulge my numerous imaginations and ideas.

5) Sea, ocean about any large water body especially in it's gentle state. Rolling waves and gentle breeze, hmm I can almost taste the salt. A totally idyllic view.

6) I like blue, white, pink, red and almost all colours in between but Blue just stands out. It is such a soothing colour. I can like almost anything blue. The lighter the shade the better :)

7) I talk to myself like all the time- not the in your head type conversation only but speaking out loud type too. I bet everyone does that right ;)

8) I totally detest high heel shoes , mehn I have concluded it is just someone's idea of punishing us ladies especially in the corporate world. Where are the trainers please?


9) I think food is such a bother and sleep is a waste of perfectly good time unless of course it is at night.

10) I enjoy singing, listening to good music and of course dancing makes a good accomplice to those two.

Y'all have a great weekend.