A real special day :)

Today is a very special day for me in many ways, but as I thought of
what to write, nothing seemed enough to express the words in my heart
till I stumbled on this version of 1 Corintians 13 in a book I am
reading and it is not just the Bible passage to read but a prayer I
long to say daily. I don't care that I am not yet married, but the
picture of this woman is who I want to be.

I hope it blesses you as you read along:)

1 Corintians 13 as written by Sharon Jaynes

If I teach Bible study classes, volunteer for women's ministry, and
sing in the choir, but do not love my husband, I am only a resounding
gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have a college degree, high paying
job, successful career, but do not love my husband, I am emotionally
and spiritually bankrupt. If I have faith that can move mountains, am
quick to pray for those in need, and even have half the Bible
memorized, but do not love my husband, I am disobedient and do not
please God. If I keep a spotless house, maintain a well-manicured
lawn, and prepare nutritionally balanced meals, but do not love my
husband, it is all for naught. Hired hands can do as much.

Lord help me to be patient. Help me to be kind. I pray that I will not
envy others who have seemingly happier marriages and husbands who are
more helpful around the house or thoughtful or romantic. I pray that I
will never lift myself up by putting my husband down. Lord, I pray
that I will not be a proud woman who refuses to listen to her husband,
who always has to have the last word, who always thinks her way is
best. I pray that I will not be rude to my husband with curt comments,
disregard his needs, or be ungrateful for all he does and is, but
treat him with respect and honor that the king of a castle deserves.

I pray that I will not be self-serving, always thinking about what is
best for me, but thinking of what would be best for my husband. I pray
that I will not be angered easily, not hold a grudge, not keep a
record of wrongs, not plan ways to retaliate, and not use my tongue as
a weapon to cause pain. I pray that I will not rejoice and say "I told
you so" when things don't work out the way my husband hoped.

Lord above all, I pray that my husband will see me as his chief
cheerleader who desires to rejoice with him in his victories, both big
and small. That he will see me as one who longs to protect our
marriage and our love. Help me to create a warm and loving environment
in which he feels safe, wanted and revered. I pray that You will give
me endurance when things get tough. Help the word "divorce" to never
enter my mind or cross my lips as an option. Lord, I know that love
never fails and that You never fail. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit to
give me the endurance to stand up under trials and love my husband as
You would have me love him- till death do us part.

In Jesus name, amen

Wow, isn't that just a power packed prayer and a true to life way or
reading the "Love chapter" as 1 Corintians 13 is sometimes called.
While reading this prayer earlier today, I remembered when I first got
fascinated with this chapter of the Bible. A certain someone ;) told
me that he could not just use the word love because he was not sure he
could embody what 1 Corintians 13 said it entailed. That statement
made me pause and I said to myself, for someone to be particular about
being able to live out the total details of that chapter, he must
really be on to something and is indeed a rear gem to treasure.

But now I see it much clearer and I can confess to you all (with my
face covered ashamed of the way I've been carrying on), I've not been
the lady described above, I've been the opposite of practically
everything.
I do pray for forgiveness.

I'm starting over. I need to be that woman. She really is gorgeous,
and I want to be that and whatever else God makes of me.

So ladies, who's walking this road with me?

Deciding on a decision

Have you ever made a decision that is so hard to live with?
In the moment you decided it felt like the right thing to do.
You worked yourself into a frenzy to convince yourself that you were right
But at the end you realized it was never what you wanted. Your premise
and conclusions were based on faulty assumptions.

How do you take it all back?
How do you make everything good again?

When saying sorry doesn't just cut it
Saying "I did not mean that" sounds shallow
When all you can do is pray and hope that you can turn back the hands
of time. Or that somehow a change comes.

I wish, I know
I wish I can
I wish it were just a bad dream, then I can simply wake up
Alas, it's real
Tell me I pray you, what can I do.

Romans 8:28

How we love

I listened to talk show that had the guest speakers was a couple that
had been married for 53 yrs and still walking in love. This is after a
suicide of their child and an accident that left the wife paralyzed
and in need of 24 hour care which the husband gave up his job to
provide.

This led me to the question - What is love?

It is not a mushy feeling that leaves u all high and puppy eyed

It is not a feeling you feel when you feel something you have never felt before

It is not just another fix where it feels like nothing could possibly go wrong

It is just not a feeling

Or something that just accidentally happens and overwhelm you

Infatuation / lust could give you all those

But love
Is a conscious action, love does not happen to you by accident, it
takes willingly getting to know a person and as you see things you
like you start to long for the person's company more and by so doing
you grow the "like-meter" to a point where the opinion of this other
person matters so much to you.

It is a will to good- you want the best for this person in all aspects
of life. You put the good of the person as a priority so you will do
whatever it takes to get out that best.

It is a decision you renew daily!

So how do you love?

Mum!

It's ma Mum's birthday today, I'm so excited. It's funny because we've
not really been so close, seeing as I've been a Daddy's girl for so
long.

In the last few years however, I started realizing what a treasure
I've got in her. She's so soft spoken but don't you ever take that to
mean you can just rough shod her or anything like that. She's got what
sometimes seem to be a steel nerve, that get's her through every
situation. She just stays clam regardless of the craziness or jamboree
going on around her, always looking out for the good of others,
giving, giving and giving so much of herself and amazingly expecting
nothing in return.

She's a principled woman and I've seen her live her talk. I remember
her telling me back when I was in junior high that "you should have
permanent friends only permanent interest" it was a cool quote as far
as I was concerned back then, but looking back now, I see how that
quote shaped me. Lots of decisions I made, stemmed from that quote.
I've seen her meet new people, I've seen the friends that remain and I
see Mum's quote resounding over and again. She cares about you
regardless of your ideas or values but not once does she neglect her
principles for a friend. Her interest stays true and same through the
various people.

She's an amazing woman. I often don't see what she is telling me when
she says it, but eventually often time I look back and I'm grateful to
her, she's made so many sacrifices to see that I am who I am today
through God.

No matter what happens, or the following days and years bring, I will
always love you and think twice about your ideas when I don't seem to
see from your point of view, because I know, you've got my back
regardless of what happens.

I guess all I'm trying to say is Mum I love you, Happy Birthday! You
are simply the best.

She is a daughter
She is a lady
She is a wife
She is disciplined
She is hard working
She is loving
She is devoted
She puts L on Loyal
She is humble
She is way smart
She has a heart of gold
She is a mother, twice over
She is my Mum

Living my dream

So it's been my favorite phrase "do what you love and you'll never
have to work a day in your life"
With this great idea planted in my head for many years I wonder how I
managed to fall into a routine I almost detest 90% of the time. My
life must be pretty miserable you must think by now.

Well you are sometimes right, I'm often miserable. I console myself in
the idea that one day I would break free but poor me has not had a
single day to catch my breath since I've been telling myself this.
So I'm attending this women program and I hear these amazing women
speak and I'm like WOW! What am I waiting for? These women are living
my dream and guess what? They did not have the bus wait to pick them,
they hopped on as it sped by them.

Will Darlyn wait much longer? What is she doing?
What will she do with all these ideas in her head?

My thought is this.

I am one person
I have one life
I can make a change, one person at a time
The first one to be changed is Me
I'm on rampage
Watch out for me :)

He's my friend!!!

So there's this song that's been on replay in my head for about 3 days
now. Today twas like my constant fuel through the day.

Friend of God by Israel Houghton
VERSE:
Who am I that you are mindful of me
That you hear me, when I call
Is it true that you are thinking of me
How you love me, it's amazing (Who am I Lord)

CHORUS:
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

The content of the song it not new, but it seems to resonate
differently in me, it's kind of almost an incredible idea that makes
my eyes wanna pop out of it's socket and at the same time very
humbling, that God would actually have time to think of me, and then
not just a one off thought, but like He knows my name, cares deeply
about me, He LOVES me, wow

I feel like telling everyone I am a friend of God. Fancy being Obama's
friend or Mel Gibson, Wentworth Miller, a Denzel Washington, Donald
Trump, Bill Gates, just name it all the Who's that really matter,
fancy being a friend to any of them. I'm sure I'll be excited to tell
any and everyone either subtly or not so subtly that I have a
connection with any of these cool dudes above.

Now fancy having someone cooler, greater, more awesome, way more
powerful, richer, more on point and with more charisma than them all
put together, being my friend. Well there's not much to be modest
about here. I'm shouting from the rooftops He calls me friend!

I'm so in love with my FL right now. May this love never fade! I know
His love NEVER fades, only mine does :(

But He never gives up on me, yippie!

Y'all have a lovely rest of the week